Sunday, August 30, 2009

Leading Reptilian Pansporians Shed Fiction Suits, Mumble Jewish Songs

At a recent Palm Beach County Shabbat dinner attended by a record-breaking amount of wingnuts, Extra-Solar Anti-Masons Harriet Himmel and Carol Roberts disgusted fellow diners and devotees by revealing their true xenic nature.
"I was mortified and scandalized" said Brett X, who had the misfortune of sitting near the cold-blooded manipulators of fate. "I first knew something was amiss when the creature called Roberts extended scaly mandibles from just beneath her hairline and regurgitated digestive fluid onto the hala, licking up the resulting stew with twin trifurcated tongues while caressing my wrist with her slimy prehensile tail."
Carol Roberts, most well known for personally evicting and devouring millions of people to facilitate the Three Gorges Dam, has long been suspected of having a three-chambered heart. However, local Wingnuts where nonetheless shocked when the being cracked open its carapace to slather hummus directly onto throbbing internal organs while delighting the table with tales of Yom Kippur in China.
Brett continued, "Then the Himmel-Being proceeded to explain how she orchestrated the building of social hub City Place to disrupt the 112th Semi-Flaccid Dragon Power Line that runs through South Florida."
Reportedly, after recycling the Harriet Himmel metapersona and facing all those attending as the writhing, blinding truth of horrors that she was, the Neptunian Ultra-Duchess said "It's an honor to be in the Rabbi's home tonight with so many wonderful young people. I hope that the coming cull finds all of you in your sleep so that you may be spared the hellish rending of your souls as they are liquefied and used to nourish my hibernating psychic brood-spawn."

Search The Winger Vaults