Friday, December 13, 2013

Will the Real Scott Maxwell Please Stand Up?

Recently, a lower life form, probably of the Jupiterian or Shriner persuasion, created a fake Twitter account for the illustrious Vice Mayor of Lake Worth, Scott Maxwell.  The identity thief, Tweeting as Maxwell, posted some rather curious language stating: "I'm only going to say this once...any allegations of reptilian involvement/ancestry are completely unfounded #scottmaxwell2014."

Its the kind of language that smells of reptilian double-reverse psychology in which one is to believe that Maxwell is not Maxwell but a shapeshifter while in fact, it is another who is really a dewlap endowed overlord of the sheeple. But who?

On a recent blogpost by Wes Blackman, a Lake Worth area literary figure and film star from Wes Blackman in Handcuffs Part I, one of his avid readers noted this: "I read with interest your post about someone stealing Vice Mayor Scott Maxwell's identity on Twitter. Over and over I read the tweets and there was something about the writing that was familiar. The references to "shape shifting," "reptilian involvement," etc. Back from shopping...it dawned on me where I read something very familiar. Do you remember a blog in Lake Worth called the "Lake Worth Wingnut"?

Blackman's fan continued on, attempting to draw connection between the freedom fighters of the Wingnut and the Alien Menace that hacked Blackman's twitter identity. We at the Wingnut did not nor would never attempt to do such a thing, not because of our undying respect for Maxwell as much as because we are keenly aware that Twitter, like Facebook and Lake Worth in general, is a tool of the coming Jupitarian invasion.

But this still does not answer who did it. Then we scoured Blackman's blog and read a comment from someone going by the name "a child is in harm's way" who said: "The reason Mr. Panagioti Tsolkas and his "lieutenants" maintain this so-called horizontal organization is it shields them from responsibility and culpability....My bet is Mr. Tsolkas is getting very, very close to being a dead-ender looking to go out in a blaze of glory.

This is the clue the Wingnut needed. We did our own research and found that this Mr. Tsolkas recently crafted this press release attempting to draw connections between the film The Hunger Games and the Earth First! radical environmental movement. At the Wingnut we have long suspected Earth First! to be a front group for the Turd Burglers of Solar System 73 pent on the invasion of our planet but we had no real hard evidence, until now. 

You see, the Hunger Games stars Lenny Kravitz and Lenny Kravitz ones took part in a photo op with Hillary Clinton who has openly supported Obamacare which was written by Manuel Noriega who was installed into power by the CIA which is an acronym like FBI which is currently investigating Panagioti Tsolkas for attempting to stir-up a post-communist revolution via a less than clever cooptation of mainstream Hollywood cinema without truly reaching a consensus with his lieutenants, and also Lenny Kravitz is a shape shifting reptilian. This means that Panagioti Tsolkas -- dead-ender, pop-film aficionado, and  press release writer -- is Scott Maxwell's alter-Twitter, which would be a great name for a death metal band...if you had a forked tongue and liked to eat flies.

Case closed. Thank you Wes Blackman for your wonderful investigative blog-posts and your continued allegiance to Scott Maxwell, may you both live to see the day when you can tell the tales of your own greatnesses to a population of post-sheeple which you two helped to free.

4 comments:

Wes Blackman said...

Thank you, Wingnut, for your adulations. Under normal circumstances, I would accept the invitation I received in the mail from you (certified, priority post) for the celebratory vomit-glut recognizing my studious investigative journalism, but in this case the honor is not my due.

You see, well before Scott took his rightful place as the Pleiadean ambassador to South Florida, he and I shared a brood chamber when we were still pupae.

Those days, the salad days of our youth, were spent entwined in a hollow in the stone floor. No need for verbal communication since every thought was encoded into the protein slurry that we shared diffused between our skin, chromosomal empathic amino acids encouraging altruism for mutual survival.

Bonds formed in youth are the strongest, particularly when prionic triggers compel you to act to the benefit of your brood-mates.

I cannot take credit for a instinctual behavior patterns that were imprinted into my DNA in that cave, over 10,000 years ago. Let us instead focus our glory on the ever-opening dewlap of our eventual salvation.

Thank you and god bless,
Wes Blackman

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Dear Lake Worth Wingnut,

While you are correct in your assumption about @smaxwell2014 being taken over by a lower life form, the real truth behind the Scott Maxwell Twitter is much stranger and more complicated than you realize.

I assume you are familiar with Portuguese Man-of-Wars. The Man-of-War is not a single entity, but a siphonophore: an animal made up of a colony of organisms working together to sustain life. Well this is what we have done with @smaxwell2014 -- it is not one entity but an outsourced colony of of polyps living in salinated tanks in an underground lab in Dubai, hooked up to the internet by tiny fiberoptic cables. We have programmed all possible ideological slogans into a large database which is then fed into the polyps, who aggregate this content into 140 character inflammatory "tweets". I cannot speak for the political motives of Project Maxwell, as my sole job here is to keep the polyps alive and tweeting, lest I be severely punished.

All of that may not impress someone of your scientific girth, but what I am about to tell you next is going to shatter your mind: Scott Maxwell, Wes Blackman, Rene Varela & Lenny Kravitz are not separate individuals but a human-scale siphonophore - a colony organism like the aforementioned Man-O-War. Mark my words, these 'individuals' will soon begin a casual campaign to make Lake Worth "sister cities" of Dubai. Remember Rene Varela's abrupt resignation from his post? Lets just say his days of hoarding dolphins for the prince of Dubai are far from over.

Unfortunately I can not release any more information at this time. Keep vigilant watch over the hemroidial underworld that is Wes Blackman's blog and be wary of anyone in The Colony speaking about business in Dubai..for we are truly entering into the darkest of municipal nights.

Lake Worth Wingnut said...

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your comment and patriotism. At the Wingnut we have long suspected that Varela's disappearance was linked to siphonophore but failed to make the Dubai link. You have given us the wing that our nuts needed for flight. And so we are off. We will report back soon.

With dingleberries not dewlaps,
The Lake Worth Wingnut

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