Friday, March 12, 2010

Mark Parilla Captures Soul of Small Child in Wall-Bound Robot as Phase II of his Master Gentrification Plan in Lake Worth

This just in, Mark Parilla, former member of the militant independence movement, the Young Lords, officially sold his soul earlier this morning to the Fasco-Reptilian Elite and the Lake Worth Coalition of Gentricating Dip Shits (LWCGDS).

In an interview on the steps of Commissioner Scott Maxwell's Lake Worth dungeon complex, Parilla had this to say: "It was really quite painless, all I had to do was foreswear any human emotion and promise to work towards the Great Yuppie Influx that is ordained for Lake Worth in 2012. I got some great slacks out of it. Oh yeah, and I had to install this wall-unit which houses the tormented soul of a small child for my future nourishment. I can't live without a daily rending of innocence. I suck it up like a spaghetti noodle through this hose here."

Parilla provided the Lake Worth Wingnut with a rather detailed flow-chart of his future plans to create a Master Class in Lake Worth. The chart details measures already taken to infiltrate the city through the Community Advisory Board and the Genesis Neighborhood Association. "Immigrants, working class schmucks, and lepers beware! I will drive you out of Lake Worth!" Parilla vowed as lightning and thunder turned the sunny day temporarily ominous.

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