Monday, December 7, 2009
Alert: Wingnut Prison Break
If you are a reptilian shape shifter, a shriner, or one of the followers of the Illuminate Underground that hangs out at Harry's Banana Farm, you had better lock your doors and load your plasma guns. Noah Wilson, one of the fiercest and wingiest of wingnuts escaped from a Belle Glade correctional facility tonight. Noah is personally responsible for the death of several hundred Jupiterian shit slurpers during a blood crazed rampage back in July of this year. "I make shit slurpees outta lizard people. I'm not ashamed. I've got a black belt. I once gave an Indian Burn to Galactar 5000," said Noah Wilson following conviction. "I don't regret what I done. I'd do it again. I won't rest till the Hillary Clinton and Bon Jovi are defeated.
EDIT: We've received this exclusive photo of Mr. Wilson punching through the prison wall.