Friday, August 10, 2012

Reptilian Overlord Brandon Block Turns 380, Lake Worth to Celebrate Out of Joyous Fear

The Grand PooBaux of Skunk-Ape Anoles, the hairy subspecies of our reptilian overlords, is celebrating his 380th birthday on Saturday, August 10th in downtown Lake Worth. Both Lake and Lucerne avenues will be closed to traffic.  The Lake Worth Wingnut had the opportunity today to speak with Overlord Block to find out about the planned festivities.

The Wingnut: Overlord Block, thank you for not ingesting my eyes or slurping my nano-ether through your membranes located behind your ears when I walked in the door.  First of all, happy early birthday. Please tell our readers what you have learned in your 380 year life.

Overlord Block: Perhaps the most important thing I'd like to impart on your readers is this. I have studied you humans a good deal. I've tasted of your flesh, undergone an anal cleanse with the juices of your pancreas, and have pondered the workings of your urinary system. This I can say for sure from study in male-humanoid urinals. If you shake it more than three times when you are finished, you are actually playing with it. You aren't fooling anyone.

W: I'm so sorry Overlord. So, so sorry. Please don't...

OB: Give me those eyeballs!

[Editor's Note: The Wingnut is sorry to report that the interview ended with the ingestion of our beat reporters eyes. Though we are honored by the Overlords choice of a Wingnutian for his pre-birthday cuisine, we are saddened by the loss of such a relentless and brave reporter.]

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