June 1st, 2009. You didn't think it could happen? Well those rounded up and killed today in Bryant Park didn't think it could happen either. Sure, other local media sources will say it was a mass suicide or will neglect the story all together, but not us here at the Lake Worth Wing Nut! We've got first hand accounts of the battles that erupted when one Lake Worth resident, Thomas Kindershiza, found a miniature FEMA death camp inside the Bryant Park Amphitheater. "There I was, just minding my own business and drinking a tall can of Sparks, when I noticed a reptilian looking fellow dressed in a gold cloak and wearing a NY Yankees ball cap walk into a room behind the ampitheater. When he opened the door I could hear the almost imperceptible screams of people. So I went to investigate. When I saw what was inside, it must have been fifty people slaving away at making RF ID chips under the whips of several large men, I just had to do something. So I yelled out for help and that was a bad idea. Almost immediatly a slew of NWO riot troopers on horseback appeared out of nowhere brandishing light sabers and speaking a language I couldn't understand, maybe French Canadian. They just went crazy, slashing at people who were just out enjoying the park, the intercoastal, and carbonated alcoholic energy drinks."
Another witness, Judith Barstow, had this to say: "I don't trust Thomas Kindershiza nor anything he has reported to the Wingnut. I mean, how did he get away, and what kind of name is Kindershiza. I believe he is one of the Host of 4, reared in the pleasure caves of Bavaria during Hitler's reign. You all really need to watch out."