Monday, June 22, 2009

Scottish Rite Masonic Temple: Den of Sin or Handjob Wholesalers?

Well it's Summer Solstice again, and you know what that means... that's right! The Scottish Rite Masonic Temple, located right here in sunny Lake Worth, is having their annual BBQ/ Ritual Human and Cute Animal Sacrifice on Saturday, June 20 at 10:47 pm. Don't miss it as these middle-aged mutant mason reptiles ritually slaughter and roast dozens of schoolchildren, anarchists, and nesting sea turtles. You'll want to be there as they bathe in the blood of the innocent (and there will be a Slip and Slide)! Proceeds from the event will be donated to the Red Cross. Also this year, there will be a baby-eating contest; first prize wins a date with Tom Hanks to Flanigan's. And for all those 2012 enthusiasts out there, the summer solstice marks exactly 3 1/2 years till the apocalypse! So get all your sinning in now while you still can and stay for the dessert and orgy to follow the dinner.


Grand Brother Poochow said...

Dear Wingnuts, the brethren of the Scottish Rites wish to offer you a substantial sum of money. In return you need mearely to take down this post. Please contact us at (561) 582-6794.

Joe Six Pack, Eighth Elevated Pontiff of the Fifth Quadriad said...

I tried to get in, but when I gave them my voucher to the Grand Pentiarch, he told me that I hadn't completed the Twelve Butimec Processes of the Exhalted Septangle.
Even though I had my certificate of completion right there with me!
I'm thinking of going through the bloodletting process and revoking my membership.

Chester123 said...

I got in. All it took was a handjob. Thanks Wingnuts!

Grand Brother Poochow said...

I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Let's be thankful that there's a forum for us to air our grievances.
Please at your nearest convenience bring your certificate by the Center for a complimentary HJ courtesy of Chester123, our newest acolyte.

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